Category Archives: kids

Toys ‘R’ Us Expected To File For Bankruptcy This Week

Do you have a Toys ‘R’ Us or Babies ‘R’ Us gift card sitting around? It might be time to use that up,just in case: The toys and kids chain is expected to file for bankruptcy basically any day now. The rumor mill , via CNBC (warning: auto-play video at that link), says that a bankruptcy filing could come as early as this week, to reassure toy suppliers that the company won’t be buried in debt for the holiday season.

It’s all about Christmas

Last week, Bloomberg News reported that suppliers had cut back on shipments to Toys ‘R’ Us at the most important time of year. The chain is even more dependent than the rest of the retail industry on the holiday season because, for any precocious children reading this article, Santa shops there. The company didn’t do well during the 2016 holiday season. A repeat of that performance is a scary thought, since the chain normally takes in 40% of its earnings during the last 25% of the year. Toys ‘R’ Us is owned by two private equity firms and a real estate company, and it has $400 million in debt coming due in 2018. Filing for bankruptcy or finding another way to organize that debt would be a good way to show suppliers that everything is under control, and that they can keep on shipping toys through the holiday season and beyond.

Gift cards: Use ’em up now

The reason why we urge readers to use their gift cards up when a retailer may file for bankruptcy soon is that a Chapter 11 filing often voids the company’s past gift cards. That’s bad when a chain shutters all of its stores and there aren’t any stores left where you can spend the cards, but it’s especially annoying for consumers when the store stays in business, yet you can’t use the card there since a new owner purchased the retailer out of bankruptcy. The first bankruptcy of RadioShack in 2015 changed how some retailers deal with gift cards after a Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The Attorney General of the company’s home state, Texas, was outraged that a company could reorganize and void millions of dollars’ worth of gift cards. He arranged a settlement where gift card holders would be paid first, before the company’s creditors, with the remaining balance of gift card funds going to the offices of states’ attorneys general. Since then, there’s been a trend to keep on accepting gift cards. Payless ShoeSource filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy due to unmanageable debt, just like Toys ‘R’ Us, but still accepts pre-bankruptcy gift cards. While forcing a retailer to pay out millions of dollars in cash refunds to gift card holders is a pro-consumer move, it’s easier for a retailer to just keep accepting its old cards rather than risk being forced into a settlement like RadioShack’s.

Mom Spots 2-Year-Old In Hot Car At Target, Alerts Police

Even though summer is winding down, temperatures can still be pretty hot, and it’s especially dangerous to leave children or pets behind in your car. That’s why it was fortunate that one shopper at an Ontario, CA, Target store happened to notice a small child in the backseat of a locked car in the store’s parking lot.

Fortunately, she knew exactly what to do. She called 9-1-1 and attempted to free the little girl herself, sticking her hands in the slightly-open window and attempting to break it.

“As a mom you want to prevent a tragedy,” she told CBS Los Angeles. (Warning: auto-play video at that link)

Local police arrived and freed the little girl, comforting her until her mother emerged from the Target store. The girl, whose father is currently out of the country, went with child protective services, and her mother was arrested.

The toddler was left alone for at least 15 minutes while her mother was inside the store shopping, and police say that the temperature inside reached 104 degrees.

“I just think I was in the right place at the right time and that was God,” the woman who noticed the child and called for help told reporters.

According to advocacy group Kids and Cars, an average of 37 children die every year after they’re locked in a hot car, often in a rear-facing child safety seat where a caregiver might not notice them when the family’s routine has been disrupted. That’s more than 800 child deaths since 1990, and some lawmakers are pushing to require automakers to include alert systems in new vehicles to prevent hot car tragedies.

She threw up her hands

For the last 11 or 12 years, I’ve read aloud to some portion of my family pretty nearly every day, except when things like travel or houseguests or illness have gotten in the way. It sounds silly, but this is one of the things I’m proudest of as a parent (my kids are big readers, which I feel great about). We’re in book three of the Wheel of Time series now (an old favorite of my wife’s that I had never read and that both the kids are old enough now to follow along with), and I’ve noted that people throw up their hands a lot in these books.

I’m an inveterate punster, and I notice and relish things like potential Spoonerisms, weird usage, unintentionally funny phrases, and of course opportunities to crack Dad jokes. These books have instilled in me a new habit of stopping to say “well if she hadn’t eaten her hands in the first place, resorting to auto-cannibalism wouldn’t have made her sick and she wouldn’t have had to throw them up” and similar (usually simplified) variants. For a while, these pauses got eye-rolls and groans out of my family, but then they stopped responding at all to my interjections, which of course makes me want to escalate (because I am a troll).

Oddly, the escalation in this case turned into almost more of a de-escalation, since instead of shouting or being more dramatic and doing the verbal equivalent of an elaborate elbow-nudge or pratfall, I started just folding the observation into the prose itself as a subordinate clause (e.g. “she threw up her hands, which she shouldn’t have eaten in the first place, but Bocephus continued to smirk”) without so much as a raised eyebrow. Thankfully, the family noticed and fed me with eye-rolls and groans and commentary about how fiendish it was to adapt in this manner, which was gratifying.


Tagged: family, kids, Reading

I Scream

A few weeks ago, I went outside to shake my fist at the neighborhood children who had taken to trampling my newly seeded lawn, when I noticed my son and a couple of the younger kids (he’s 10, they’re a little younger, and the neighborhood range of miscreants who run together goes from 5 or 6 to 16ish — which is to say that it’s basically Lord of the Flies, and my son was hanging with the littluns) sort of hunkered down behind the car, which was parked in the driveway. One of the littluns looked over at me sort of guiltily and murmured to my son something like “tell him,” which interrupted my fist shaking. I looked at my son, who had gone kind of a shade of gray.

I should here back up and report that just a few minutes before, my wife and I, both recently finished with work for the day, had been occupying separate water closets. My preferred water closet is a tiny room inside the master bathroom, which is itself buried in the master bedroom (the door of which was closed lest the dog come in and befoul the boudoir), which is upstairs. When I am spending a little time in the old W.C., I am not well prepared to respond to inquiries from downstairs. Yell helpfully as I might, I simply am unable to best the acoustics of our home and make myself heard. So when I heard my son’s plaintive and repetitive cries first of “Mom” and then of “Dad,” all I could do was yell repeatedly (a vein in my forehead no doubt throbbing with the exertion and frustration of it) “I’m finally taking a dump, leave me alone.” And when he kept calling upstairs, I could do little but try to explain my situation more stridently, and perhaps in increasingly colorful language.

I am not a horrible father. My son’s cry was not one of pain. It had much more of the routine “come prevent the dog from trying to escape as I for the 25th time in as many minutes enter and then exit the house again to trample your precious newly germinated grass” pitch. Had the cry been bloodcurdling or one indicating pain or clear emotional distress, I would assuredly have quickly set the affairs of my toilette in order and gone downstairs. I imagine my wife was in similar straits. Eventually, my son stopped calling out.

Let us return to the driveway. A littlun has implicated my son in something. I have ceased to shake my fist at the neighborhood children. My son with trembling lip approaches me and says “I threw a toy at the ice cream truck.”

IMG_20170611_232617The neighborhood children leave things in my paper box. I am no Boo Radley. They aren’t making little gifts for the neighborhood recluse (though a recluse of sorts I am). They just leave shit in my yard and in its structures. Sometimes I find cell phones or scooters or balls. More frequently I find trash. One child left a small plastic doll in the paper box, and this my son decided for some reason to hurl at the ice cream truck as it drove by.

I should disclose that I have many times declined to give my son money to purchase frozen corn syrup from the ice cream truck driver. For one, I find the truck’s noise offensive. Ours plays an obnoxious song and then pauses after about every maybe 6 phrases of common measure to broadcast a sardonic recorded “Hello?” For another, I can’t imagine the ice cream is actually any good. I am personally an ice cream fiend. I am well known within my nuclear family for eating all of the ice cream. Often enough of a summer evening, my poor impoverished children will put aside their ribeyes and their caviar and virgin champagne and ask if there’s dessert, and my wife will say something like “beloved progeny, I have procured ice cream for our family’s enjoyment” and I will have to kind of sheepishly confess that I have since selfishly spooned all the ice cream from the carton while nobody was looking, whereupon the rest of the family will rend their garments and roll in ashes (from a mound of burned cardboard ice cream containers) while I wipe ice cream from my moustache. Which is all to say that I am in no way opposed to ice cream. But I am sort of opposed to ice cream driven around in an obnoxious van. I just read a book in which the author proposes a brilliant ice cream truck prophylactic strategy wherein the parents tell the children that the truck plays music only when it is out of ice cream, and I approve of the strategy.

So, my son is starved for ice cream while I am growing fat from Tennessee’s finest chocolate and rocky road cows. He has many times (the very afternoon in question, even) been denied ice cream from a truck. Naturally then as the truck drove by on its way out of the neighborhood, he picked up one of the trinkets that had been left in our paper box and chucked it at the passing truck. Why not do this, in his position?

My wife and I meanwhile were shackled to our separate toilets.

The driver stopped. Whether she emerged from the truck or whether she squrrrrched the truck to a halt and backed up or whether at the time of impact she was simply already in a good position to berate my son I do not know, but the misc en scène aside, she gave him what for. She threatened to call the police. She said that his behavior was the fault of his wretched parents. She sent him in to fetch one of his parents — who were both legitimately just trying to have a quiet dump at the end of the workday as he called dutifully up the stairs so that they might come down and negotiate with the ice cream truck driver to mete out a fitting punishment. He made a good faith effort, but his parents, thrall to their bowels, failed him. Apparently the ice cream truck driver bought it, or was more concerned with terrorizing more neighborhoods with her terrible siren call than with exacting justice.

My gray-faced son confessed all to me. I told him how foolish the behavior was, but told him I had done something similar when I was about his age — but that my missiles had been rocks (if I’m being honest, when I was older, they were occasionally smoke bombs and sparking fireworks) and the road a highway, which had been much more dangerous. He had an opportunity to learn from not only his own folly but from his venerable father’s. I sent him in for the day and let him know that he’d probably lost all chance of ambulatory ice cream for the summer, since the driver wasn’t likely any time soon to forget the long-haired boy who had flung a toy at her truck and raised her ire, and then I continued to shake my mighty fist at the rest of the neighborhood children and to harry them off of my lawn.

Now, when we hear the ice cream truck’s blasted anthem, we also see my son squirt inside pretty quickly lest he be taken to account by a driver who’d be understandably skeptical that both parents were on the toilet at the precise time of the cataclysm I describe. I laugh every time and sometimes give him a wink and perhaps a comment about natural consequences and the likelihood that he’ll ever do anything quite like that again.


Tagged: kids

Ignorance is equal to Sickness

Ignorance is equal to Sickness

Hello my dear Humans!

Today we are going to talk about us, Humans, and how we can change ourselves for better us.

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Not long ago, one very good friend of mine mentioned that people can change.

According to my friend’s opinion, people can change 100%.

Very interesting to know what everyone else thinks…

Email us if you would like to share anonymously at: humanrelationshins@gmail.comor leave a…

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