Category Archives: parenting

Why Balance is an Unrealistic and Limiting Goal

The other weekend my kids spent about 12 hours playing with Lego. Seriously. They stopped to eat and that was about it. It was a mega Lego binge. Some comments I had recently read about unschooling came to mind as … Continue reading The post Why Balance is an Unrealistic and Limiting Goal appeared first on Happiness is here.

Biggering and transposition: more thoughts on fatherhood

I was talking to a friend a friend about marriage, couples’ counseling, and parenting and she told me that her test for whether she’ll be on board with a friend’s relationship is whether or not the both parties become more or bigger than they were without each other. Her comment reminded me of a line in the Lorax, in which the Onceler rhymes:
I meant no harm, I most truly did not, But I had to get bigger, So bigger I got.

In Seuss’s yarn, BIGGERING is bad. But I think that in the context of relationships and parenting, biggering is good. For instance, being a father tempts me to want to sleep in, watch more television, read less, and learn less new skills. Why? Because I’m tired all the time. But there’s a deeper more fully-human desire to “bigger” myself. It’s like Jack Donovan said, to be a dad you’ve got to be big. And so being a father has made me conscious of a truer, but still biological aspect of myself, to which I am spiritually accountable. It’s a weird experience, but I think it is one to which all our biological impulses point if you interpret them with reason. For instance, sexual impulses lead us to pursue an experience that exacerbates how incomplete we are without another, but that only lasts for moments. And so sexuality causes us to seek transcend our finitude. Our biology can hide our spiritual nature from us or be ennobled by it. It’s as Paul says in Romans 6. At every moment you can choose to use your members (the components of the flesh) as instruments of righteousness or tools of sin and destruction. The process of eliciting transcendent supernatural value from mundane realities is what C.S. Lewis calls transposition or what I’ve called, in reckless abuse of Seuss’s own meaning, ‘biggering.’ I’ll need to reflect on it more, but being a spouse, a parent, a child, an employee, a manager, a friend, a cancer patient, or just a person is to have a wide field of opportunities for biggering that could just as easily be used as opportunities to give up on anything transcendent.

Parents Could Face Fine, Jail Under City’s Anti-Bullying Law

NORTH TONAWANDA, N.Y. (AP) — Parents of children found bullying other minors could face jail time under a new law approved in a western New York community. The law went into effect Oct. 1 in North Tonawanda, a city just north of Buffalo. Members of the North Tonawanda Common Council hope the new law will put a stop to bullying by holding parents accountable for their children’s actions. Parents could be fined $250 and sentenced to 15 days in jail if twice in a 90-day period their child violates the city’s curfew or any other city law, including bullying. North Tonawanda officials say the law is geared toward minors who repeatedly bully other children in public places. This law comes after four teens were reportedly kicked out of North Tonawanda Middle School for alleged bullying. (© Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.) 

How to Handle Attention-Seeking Kids

Don’t pick up your baby when they cry. They just want attention. Don’t comfort a tantrum. They just want attention. Don’t give in to whining. They just want attention. Don’t do things for your child that you know they can … Continue reading The post How to Handle Attention-Seeking Kids appeared first on Happiness is here.

Must Read Parenting Books for Respectful Parents

There are so many wonderful authors who have written about respectful parenting and children’s rights, and I’d love to share with you the ones that inspire me most. I wish these books would become ‘mainstream’ instead of books focused on … Continue reading The post Must Read Parenting Books for Respectful Parents appeared first on Happiness is here.

When Children Do Whatever They Want: What Autonomy Looks Like

All children have a right to autonomy. This means they should be in control of their bodies, minds, and time. Mainstream parenting is firmly against this idea. The majority of people believe that all decisions about a child’s life and … Continue reading The post When Children Do Whatever They Want: What Autonomy Looks Like appeared first on Happiness is here.