Remember those ‘Reading Comprehension Exercises’ from grade school?
The task was to write a title for a random paragraph.
A paragraph like this:
Grand Central Station is a unique urban space: majestic yet approachable, decorative yet functional. For a century, New Yorkers have used Grand Central as their town commons, a beloved gathering place for shared experiences, distinctive displays, and important events—a home for broadcast studios, rallies, art exhibits, and tightrope walkers.
Could be titled: “Grand Central Station is more than trains.”
(If you’re confused already, quit reading. You’re not going to understand the rest of the post.)
Below are a few more “random” paragraphs.
Under each paragraph is the title written by members of various groups.
We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides. It has been going on for a long time in our country — not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. It has been going on for a long, long time. It has no place in America.
Literate American: “Hatred, Bigotry and Violence Are Never Good Things”
Never Trump American: “Donald Trump Refuses to Denounce Alt Right”
Pro Trump American: “It’s Not Hate Until The President Says So”
KKK: “Only Hate People Who Deserve It”
We recognize that America was founded as a White nation. America was born as an extension of White European heritage… All of the early laws of the United States, from its very inception, restricted citizenship to White people and all of the early charters, laws, compacts, etc were signed into effect by White people.
Literate American: “Ignorance Leads to Racism”
BLM: “What Every White Person Really Thinks”
Atheist: “More Evidence There Is No God”
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Literate American: “The Preamble of The Constitution”
KKK: “Something Written By A White Guy”
BLM: “Something Written By A White Guy”
Atheist: “Religious Oppression”
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
Literate American: “A Beautiful Vision of Unity in Diversity”
KKK: “Some Stuff A Black Guy Said”
BLM: “Martin Luther King Would Approve of Riots”
Atheist: “Dreams Are Not Scientifically Falsifiable”
Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise.
Literate American: “We’re All Equal In God’s Eyes”
KKK: “Scripture Doesn’t Mention Black People”
Progressive Christian: “Women Should Not Be Doormats”
Atheist: “A Children’s Fairy Tale”
What I’m trying to say is…
…illiteracy is bad.
It makes people stupid.
Stupid people can’t contribute to discussions.
Because they don’t understand what’s being discussed.
And if you’re upset because I called illiterate people “stupid”…
…I told you at the beginning you should quit reading this.
And you STILL don’t understand why.