Category Archives: relationships

My Ungrateful, Greedy Beloved

She could almost feel it, his flesh tightly gripped in her hands as she shoved his head under water again. His head vigorously shaking under the surface, fighting against her strength to gasp for air. But she was too strong, his extra skin around his neck became his fatal flaw as it provided a better grip for her to hold on.

Yes, she could almost feel it – what it would be like to suck the life out of him. To be stronger than him. Yet, all she could do was nod as he once again asked “Did you hear me?” If not water perhaps the answer was to go high enough where the drop would not just hurt.

“You’re not listening again…” his voice an octave lower with a sense of warning in his words. My girlfriend had mentioned to me that her beloved made her languid to the point she would listen. All she had to was just let go and sleep. How I would prefer that over my….

Her thought was cut short. She forgot to nod in acknowledgement and she could not even flinch before the punishment stung her.

Her ungrateful, selfish beloved was the devil. The devil whom encompassed her incompetences, her fears, and everything holding her back from moving on.

He, the devil, was her in every form. Yet, not at all.

Video: Man Charged In Family Murders Gives Presentation On Relationships

DENVER — Christopher Watts, who is charged with killing his family and dumping their bodies at an oil worksite, taped a video presentation six years ago about saving or abandoning relationships. A YouTube video posted in April 2012 shows Watts giving a PowerPoint presentation that he titled, “Communication Speech, Relationship Deterioration and Repair.” He opened the presentation by saying it is for a course he was taking. He then speaks of infidelity — possibly with someone at work — as a reason that relationships fail. Police in suburban Denver say Watts was having an affair with a co-worker before he was arrested last week in the slayings of his wife, Shanann Watts, and their two young daughters, Bella, 3, and Celeste, 4. He has not entered a plea to murder and other felony charges. According to court documents, Watts told police in Frederick, a Colorado community in the oil and gas fields north of Denver, that he told his wife on August 13 that he wanted to separate. A police investigation determined that Watts “was actively involved in an affair with a co-worker,” the documents state. Watts worked at Anadarko Petroleum and was fired on August 15, the day he was arrested. He told investigators that he killed his wife but claimed that she had strangled their two daughters after he told her he wanted to separate. In the 2012 video posted online about six months before the couple wed, Watts said he was in suburban Broomfield, where the Watts family once lived. “Sometimes you find your partner no longer attractive physically or in their personality,” he said in the presentation. “When you are in a relationship you have to show desire, lust toward your partner. Sometimes when you get married that the lust and the desire kind of fall by the wayside a little bit.” At another point, Watts said: “Even at the job, you might meet a new person and (it) could strengthen into something else and could weaken the bond you have with the partner you have.” “And you feel that you might be better with someone else that you’ve met,” he declared. “You think that you can no longer do — that your partner is someone that you can’t be with.” Krista Henery, a spokeswoman for the Weld County district attorney’s office, declined comment about the video Wednesday. Watts’ public defender, James Merson, did not immediately return a phone message. Watts in the video cites various experts in recommending steps to strengthen and salvage relationships, including listening attentively, thinking before speaking, and openly expressing support and affection. “Sometimes when you have children and your relationship starts to deteriorate a child could help repair it,” he said. He also listed three questions to ask when a relationship is in jeopardy: “Do I have the desire to keep this relationship going? Do I have a moral obligation to stay in this relationship? Or is it a necessity for me to stay in this relationship?” As Watts ended the presentation, he received a round of applause from two women and two men seated on a sofa across the room. One of the women said, “Good job.” Shanann Watts is not seen in the video. Under a last name she had from an earlier marriage, Shanann King posted a comment to the video that said: “Great job Christopher! Good information!” North Carolina court records show she divorced around 2009, several years before she and Christopher Watts married. Watts was charged this week with first-degree murder and other felony counts. Shanann’s body was discovered in a shallow grave about 40 miles from the family’s Frederick home, and the two girls’ bodies were recovered from nearby oil tanks, according to an arrest warrant affidavit. On Tuesday, Christopher Watts appeared in court for an arraignment. Shanann Watts’ father, Frank Rzucek Sr., cried and shook visibly as District Judge Marcelo Kopcow read the formal charges. Shanann’s brother, Frank Rzucek Jr., rubbed his father’s shoulders and glared unflinchingly at his brother-in-law. A bailiff stood between them. Watts, handcuffed and wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, didn’t show emotion. He said “Yes, sir,” when the judge asked if he understood the murder and other felony charges against him and the penalties they carry, including the death penalty. Prosecutors have not yet decided whether to seek death. Watts waived his right to have a preliminary hearing within 35 days. A judge set a status hearing for November 19.
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It’s Love

Reassessing my thoughts from my last post, I found myself looking back on this weekend. Many thought I was speaking about a lover last time when in fact I was talking about a family member. As we spent the last few days together I couldn’t help but realize we had both changed so much these last few years. She no longer was that person that gave me anxiety when she entered the room and I no longer was that person that embraced it silently. These past two days made me just love her more. It made me question why was I anxious to begin with when I first saw her after so many months. Perhaps its because our time together is a double edged sword. However I’m willing to make it work every time. Because some people who are able to change with you and acknowledge your transformation with respect, even thought they were the source of your pain before, can become your world later. I no longer have resentment mixed within my love for her. I just love her unconditionally now as my sister. Photo by Aaron Wu on Unsplash

The Source: Is it Love or Is it Toxic?

It becomes complicated when your loved one becomes the source of your anxiety. The one who you crave for and miss day by day. At the mention of their name your chest expands with an indescribable emotion. Yet, the minute they pass through the doorway to your safe-haven they become the reason why your heart starts pounding…in an unpleasant way that makes you sick to the stomach. The feeling only medication can take away. Their presence, close proximity makes you question yourself. Stop this feeling. A self repeated mantra that you love them does little to stop the thudding of your heart. It’s hard to get calm. Yet, when they leave I miss them to the point that brings tears to my eyes. Whats worse is that the source is noticing, noticing that when their not here I miss them but when they’re here I want them to just go away. It has to stay secret. Or it will just hurt the both of us. Is this love or is this toxic? Photo from Unsplash

Survey: Most Adults Would Dump Partner Who Doesn’t Like Their Dog

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA (CBS Local) – Love is no match for man’s best friend. According to a new survey, an overwhelming number of adults would dump their partner if they didn’t like their dog. A survey of 3,500 dog owners conducted by dog-walking service Wag!, found that 86 percent of respondents would end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend couldn’t get along with their dog. “It comes as no surprise to us at Wag! that dog parents place a premium on their dogs’ opinions of other humans and that this plays a deciding factor in their love lives,” company CEO Hilary Schneider said, via StudyFinds. In some cases, spouses are even taking a back seat to their husband or wife’s four-legged friend. 16 percent of married dog owners said they preferred celebrating their pet’s birthday over their own spouse’s. However, the news isn’t all bad as dogs were found to be the key to many people’s hearts. Over 70 percent of people surveyed said they were more likely to “swipe right” if a person’s online dating profile featured their pup. Six in 10 adults claim they were flirted with while walking their furry friend. For singles, Wag! says forget the pickup lines and get a dog. Nearly 80 percent of dog owners admit they’d be more likely to go home with someone if that person said they had a dog there waiting to meet them.

Survey: Most Adults Would Dump Partner Who Doesn’t Like Their Dog

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA (CBS Local) – Love is no match for man’s best friend. According to a new survey, an overwhelming number of adults would dump their partner if they didn’t like their dog. A survey of 3,500 dog owners conducted by dog-walking service Wag!, found that 86 percent of respondents would end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend couldn’t get along with their dog. “It comes as no surprise to us at Wag! that dog parents place a premium on their dogs’ opinions of other humans and that this plays a deciding factor in their love lives,” company CEO Hilary Schneider said, via StudyFinds. In some cases, spouses are even taking a back seat to their husband or wife’s four-legged friend. 16 percent of married dog owners said they preferred celebrating their pet’s birthday over their own spouse’s. However, the news isn’t all bad as dogs were found to be the key to many people’s hearts. Over 70 percent of people surveyed said they were more likely to “swipe right” if a person’s online dating profile featured their pup. Six in 10 adults claim they were flirted with while walking their furry friend. For singles, Wag! says forget the pickup lines and get a dog. Nearly 80 percent of dog owners admit they’d be more likely to go home with someone if that person said they had a dog there waiting to meet them.

Survey: Most Adults Would Dump Partner Who Doesn’t Like Their Dog

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA (CBS Local) – Love is no match for man’s best friend. According to a new survey, an overwhelming number of adults would dump their partner if they didn’t like their dog. A survey of 3,500 dog owners conducted by dog-walking service Wag!, found that 86 percent of respondents would end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend couldn’t get along with their dog. “It comes as no surprise to us at Wag! that dog parents place a premium on their dogs’ opinions of other humans and that this plays a deciding factor in their love lives,” company CEO Hilary Schneider said, via StudyFinds. In some cases, spouses are even taking a back seat to their husband or wife’s four-legged friend. 16 percent of married dog owners said they preferred celebrating their pet’s birthday over their own spouse’s. However, the news isn’t all bad as dogs were found to be the key to many people’s hearts. Over 70 percent of people surveyed said they were more likely to “swipe right” if a person’s online dating profile featured their pup. Six in 10 adults claim they were flirted with while walking their furry friend. For singles, Wag! says forget the pickup lines and get a dog. Nearly 80 percent of dog owners admit they’d be more likely to go home with someone if that person said they had a dog there waiting to meet them.

Survey: Most Adults Would Dump Partner Who Doesn’t Like Their Dog

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA (CBS Local) – Love is no match for man’s best friend. According to a new survey, an overwhelming number of adults would dump their partner if they didn’t like their dog. A survey of 3,500 dog owners conducted by dog-walking service Wag!, found that 86 percent of respondents would end a relationship if their boyfriend or girlfriend couldn’t get along with their dog. “It comes as no surprise to us at Wag! that dog parents place a premium on their dogs’ opinions of other humans and that this plays a deciding factor in their love lives,” company CEO Hilary Schneider said, via StudyFinds. In some cases, spouses are even taking a back seat to their husband or wife’s four-legged friend. 16 percent of married dog owners said they preferred celebrating their pet’s birthday over their own spouse’s. However, the news isn’t all bad as dogs were found to be the key to many people’s hearts. Over 70 percent of people surveyed said they were more likely to “swipe right” if a person’s online dating profile featured their pup. Six in 10 adults claim they were flirted with while walking their furry friend. For singles, Wag! says forget the pickup lines and get a dog. Nearly 80 percent of dog owners admit they’d be more likely to go home with someone if that person said they had a dog there waiting to meet them.

Couples Can’t Tell In The Beginning If They’re In A Long Or Short-Term Relationship

DAVIS (CBS13) – Knowing on the first date that you’ve met the person you’re going to marry might be more fantasy than fact, according to a new study done by UC Davis. Researchers surveyed more than 800 people of all ages and found long and short-term relationships actually look almost identical in the beginning. The trajectories typically don’t pull apart until you’ve known the person for weeks or months- around the time relationships become sexual. The lead author, Paul Eastwick, is an associate professor of psychology at UC Davis. He and his team surveyed people and asked them about the events and experience in past short-term and long-term relationships, specifically the events in the very beginning- before they even started dating. They broke the events up into a number of categories, including: first time they held hands, met each other’s parents, said “I love you”, first planned a vacation, first had a major disagreement, first lied, and first became annoyed with the other person. “Some of the most interesting moments in these relationships happen after you meet the person face-to-face, but before anything sexual has happened,” said Eastwick. “You wonder ‘is this going somewhere?’ or ‘How much am I into this person.’ It is somewhere around this point that short-term and long-term relationships start to diverge, and historically, we have very little data on this particular period of time.” In the beginning, the romantic interest rises at about the same rate. In short-term relationships it tends to plateau and then decline, according to researchers. In longer term relationships the romantic interest ascends and reaches a higher peak. The researchers concluded people end up in short-term relationships when they’re attracted to each other enough to keep having sex. Long-term relationships start out exciting and sexy and end up stable and lasting. The results were published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.